After listening to the 12th track, my brother turned to me and said, “Zoe, you’re amazing and cool and beautiful, you don’t need your music to affirm it.” Now, I did just finish playing the 12th song in my badass female empowerment music anthology, so I understand why he said it.

But, it did make me wonder: How important is it for our music, environment, and relationships to validate how we see ourselves?

Is it important for our interactions to affirm our identity? How much misidentification can we take before we begin to doubt our own perception of ourselves?

I believe I would not be an artist today if my mom had not reinforced her belief in my capabilities as an artist.

I know it took me years to wear my hair out in public because even though I’ve always thought my Afro was beautiful, I received over a decade of negative comments from strangers and close family members.

In both instances, outside voices helped to shape my life choices.

I believe when we have the opportunity to decide who and what we will listen to, we should choose to focus on voices that honor the best parts of us and guide us to grow in our trouble areas.

I listen, read, and engage with podcasts, music, books, and people who reinforce my nature of kindness, joy, strength, and all the other 100’s of ways I view myself.

When I do listen to voices that don’t align with the vision I have of myself, I keep what resonates or offers an opportunity for self reflection. Then, I let go of whatever is left that doesn’t work for me.

Pay attention to what you take in.

 Two Things for You to Try This Week

1. Be nice. Voice out-loud the  positive attributes of your friends or family. How often do you get to tell those closest to you that they are amazing? Well, no matter how you answered, it’s probably best if you do it even more.

2. Do some spring cleaning. If you recognize something you engage with or someone in your life is harmful or damaging, slowly remove them from your space.